My Morning Musings |
11/23/2022 0 Comments Why Giving Tuesday?You may have seen or heard about #givingtuesday on social media, but what is it and how did it start? Well, it happens the Tuesday after Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Now that people have taken care of their needs, they look forward to helping others. This is from the Giving Tuesday Canada website "GivingTuesday was created in 2012 as a simple idea: a day that encourages people to do good. The idea caught on, and has grown around the world, inspiring hundreds of millions of people to give, collaborate, and celebrate generosity. GivingTuesday was founded in 2013 in Canada by CanadaHelps.org, GIV3 and several other founding partners. GivingTuesday has active movements in more than 80 countries, working year-round to inspire generosity around the world, with a common mission to create a world where giving is part of everyday life." We started this project on #givingtuesday2021 and here we are one year later! We are now partnering with the program and are excited to share this with you. We have set up a DONATE now button on our website which links to our Amazon Wish List - however we do also accept in kind donations, primarily we are looking for gift cards at this moment - we also accept e transfers to our email for gift cards and project needs. This month we will be presenting to several groups to share the project. Please keep us in mind, on Giving Tuesday! If you have questions, concerns or want to know more, please contact us! Let's help make the world a better place!
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Yesterday was 18 years since my family’s life changed forever. 18 years of trauma, healing, recovery and then realizing it can hit you again in a second. 18 years of the body and mind fighting to put the past behind us, yet knowing it is always back there somewhere. I spent 18 years in a toxic, abusive relationship. I have been out of that for 18 years. I am 56 years old, so 36 years of my life have been tied up in this, twisted, crazy, life. The first few years I felt physical pain, connected to the time of day - things happened to me. This is less now, but the past few days have had a little bit of everything, including physical discomfort. I am strong, I continue to heal; I am glad to be able to give back to my community and hopefully help others… It just creeps up on my every year and I don’t realize how or why until BAM! It hits me! The body remembers trauma, we have Somatic Symptoms – “experience a range of general symptoms like fatigue, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, joint or muscle pain, headaches, and palpitations, which may or may not be temporary.” For me, I never know until multiple experiences combine to make me realize that it’s “that time again.” The worst times for me, at the end of my relationship, were from September through November. So these months have a lot of emotion connected to them, which I often don’t even connect together or realize. What I share, is not to bring attention to me. I share to help others know they are not alone, there is science behind our trauma and reactions. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! That is why I started the We're Here For You Project, to provide support to those who need it. This year for example, I noticed that for the past few weeks, when we had "a" drink, I pushed it to excess. That is not my norm, I don’t have a drinking problem, but I often couldn’t seem to stop from mid October forward. Then around Halloween, I felt like I just didn’t want to talk to anyone or go anywhere. I avoided calls, or responding, I put off what needed to be done, I procrastinated more than usual and found things to keep me overly busy that avoided what I should be doing. Then lethargy hit, I had to drag myself out of bed, I slept more than normal, I was fatigued and could barely even make myself cook. Last week, my eating was affected, I was either abnormally hungry and couldn’t fill the hole or would be hungry and when the food arrived, I lost all taste, interest, and appetite. Friday, the headaches began. I haven’t had headaches for a long time. I felt dizzy, my neck, jaw, head, everything started to ache. Was I getting sick? Saturday, I needed to get prepared for a Sunday event. I put it off all day and finally at around 5PM began to get ready and spent hours washing, cleaning, prepping… That night was Daylight Savings “Fall Back” and I couldn’t sleep. It took forever to get any sleep, multiple melatonin, finally I grabbed a few hours… then woke up around 5AM and just waited to go… At the event I was anxious, excited, rushing. My child reminded me to calm, relax, breathe… The event was great, fun, exhilarating in so many ways and filled me up, at least for the moment. By the end of the day we drove home, and I realized I had not eaten or drank all day. We stopped to eat, my food arrived, I could barely touch it or stay awake. It was all I could do to drive home. I passed out for hours on the couch and slept like the dead until 11AM the next day. Great! My headache was back and throbbing… My body knew. My brain forgot. “A somatic flashback causes the person to physically re-experience the trauma. It could be pain or discomfort or sensations.” Clearly this was happening. My PTSD was in full swing! Nightmares for the past month, self-isolation – not wanting to see or talk to people or rescheduling appointments, obviously some substance abuse since there were times I couldn’t stop and pushed myself too far, at least I was safe at home with my loving husband; emotional avoidance – not calling people I wanted to talk to because I just couldn’t handle any conflict; feeling on edge – my anxiety and worry and self blame; memory loss – forgetting that the “anniversary” was coming up; depression – spending hours in my room or sleeping; physical symptoms – all of a sudden I would be shaking, sweating, clammy – thinking I needed protein or carbs; and so much more… it sneaks up, we don’t even know it is happening. I see it in myself and my children. Guilt eats you up. Guilt, for not protecting your children, the community or myself. Guilt for not being successful in a way I think I should be. Guilt that your children have to live with this for the rest of their lives. Guilt for starting school strong, studying hard and then crashing and feeling like my brain just can’t do it. “PTSD damages the hippocampus, reducing it in volume by an average of eight percent. Not only does PTSD lead to flashbacks, anxiety and disjointed memories of traumatic events, PTSD also damages the brain's ability to convert short-term memories into long-term memories.” My brain has been mush! I walk to my desk, and completely forget what I am supposed to do. My husband and children are supportive and loving, however, how can they help when I don’t know what is happening as it creeps up on me? How can they help when my children are suffering too? We three, have this happen. We don’t know why, we don’t see it coming, we forget why we don’t really find “Halloween as fun as it should be”, why “upcoming birthdays feel traumatic instead of exciting.” We feel like crying for no reason. It is that time of year and some years it hits less, sometimes more… I don’t know why it does, but it is all part of the trauma and experience. Please be kind to those around you who have gone through a traumatic experience. Be gentle when they may seem unreasonable – perhaps they have been triggered; perhaps it is the “anniversary” or near the time when life became very hard. Don’t remind them of the experience but be open and non-judgemental if you ask them to share. Know that much of what they are feeling, doesn’t make sense, isn’t reasonable, but it is PTSD, Somatic Symptoms, Flashbacks, trapped emotions. I will continue to advocate and work towards helping others who have gone through trauma. I realize that the goals I had changed. I tried to go back to become a Social Worker, because the OLD ME wanted to, but the new me, has a different path. I stress and worry and there are normal stresses and abnormal, over reactive… I am strong and will be fine, but there are times or triggers that shut me down. Things I remind myself and my children to reduce dissociation and increase self-awareness:
I am so grateful to all those who helped and supported me. Doctors, hospital staff, RCMP, counselors, support workers, mental health, women's shelter and much more, including many friends and family. If reading this has brought up emotions or experiences for you that you need help with, please contact your doctor, or therapist. Please reach out for support. There are services listed on this site and agencies who will help guide you through your journey. Please sign up for our newsletter if you wish to receive automatic blog updates. Thank you. 11/8/2022 0 Comments Newsletter and UpdatesWe have added a SUBSCRIBE button on the HOME page so that you can be sure to catch all updates. There will be no spam and it all emails will remain confidential and not shared elsewhere. If you would like to remain up to date on all we do. Please hit SUBSCRIBE! Thank you!
We have also gone through and tried to update the page, ensure links are working and clean it up. If you notice any dead or inaccurate links - please email or tell us via the contact page. Thank you to all who shared about the fundraiser on Sunday, November 6th, to bring awareness to Family Violence Prevention Month and Sexual Assault Awareness - they often go hand in hand. If you would like to know more or to speak with me please refer to our website www.werehereforyou.ca phone number 506-243-1117 We would once again, like to thank the New Brunswick Provincial Exhibition (NBEX) for being supportive and allowing us to not only host our event on their grounds, but to provide the beautiful Community Cube to hold the fundraiser in! We often bring a tent but even though it was 23C out, the wind was blowing tents over, so having a solid space with power for our kettle and the help of the onsite maintenance man, Rick, we were especially grateful! The NBEX is very supportive to our community, check them out! Thank you to the Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners/Forensic Nurse Examiners for all they do for their patients - they see women, children, men, teens... they provide primary care and resources to patients who are at the ER due to Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) and Sexual Assault. In order to help the nurses, help their patients, the We're Here For You Project - provides fresh, new clothing for patients to select from, comfort kits with all the basic needs to help them after an exam and where they may go from their and gift cards for meals, groceries, fuel, sundries, etc. Yesterday we held a fundraiser and awareness project to purchase gift cards as that is currently our greatest need. People leaving the ER may have gone many hours/etc. without food and since we are a rural province, they may have traveled far. If they have been assaulted, attend ER, get a rape kit, report to police, find a safe place to go, they could be a day or more before they meet their basic human needs! Please help! Donations can be sent to [email protected] gift cards or money to purchase gift cards is appreciated. These will be given to the nurse examiners and they determine how to help the patient. Thank you to my child and roommate for running the booth yesterday in Fredericton to raise awareness and funds. Everyone knows someone. Let's improve the supports to those in need and in crisis, let's remove the stigma, let's help them, just a little bit before they start a long journey towards justice and recovery. #thankyou #people #help #nurse #police #food #money #giftcards #dignityandrespect #familyviolencepreventionmonth #sexualassaultawareness #werehereforyou #purplelightsnights |
Sarah Sherman - Founder of We're Here For You - Comfort Kit ProjectThe founder of this project, Sarah Sherman, felt compelled to help other women, children and young men - who find themselves seeking help after a sexual assault. From personal experience, Sarah knows the trauma of having to get help from the RCMP, going to the ER and the devastating experience of having to undergo a rape kit from a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) which can take several hours. The nurses are amazing, but nothing makes it feel any better. At the end of the exam, Sarah recalled what it was like to put on clothing that did not fit right, was inappropriate for herself and to walk out of the room with nothing. She wanted to do something that would make this recovery a little bit less intimidating for the next person. She hoped to help provide them with some dignity, respect and equality as they make their way through what will inevitably be a long journey of working through justice, healing and recovery. |
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